I got in the car tonight to come home from Rainbow and I just felt... empty. I want to fill the void with music, so I stop in the middle of the parking lot to dig through my bag to find my ipod... and can't find it. Hopefully it's there and I just missed it, or I put it somewhere else. Otherwise I'm gonna freak. Anyway-
Can't find it, so I turn on the radio. It doesn't help. In fact, it made it worse. I want someone's presence. I call Natasha (not really a good idea while driving on the freeway), put the phone on speaker, but she's already on the phone, so she can't talk. I think she was a little pissed that I called her (because I had called her after she first left to tell her that she didn't say bye to me and that that is rude), which makes me a little... sad. I was going to try calling Molly but then... I didn't. I love Molly, but sometimes it hurts.
Anyway
I called Belen. But then we couldn't hear each other, and after like ten minutes of both of us talking but not being able to hear the other one, we hung up. I sung to myself the rest of the way instead of crying, but I could only remember some of the words to the song so I mostly repeated myself.
I get into my driveway and I text Megan to see if she's working, and she's not, which means I could have driven over to here house and talked to her, which I had wanted to do, but... I don't know. It didn't... feel right. So I call my mom and ask her to come out to the car and asked her if she would drive around with me for a while, because driving gives me something to concentrate on, but it's lonely. She did. But... it wasn't what I wanted either.
I did feel a little better after I drove for a while. I came home, ate some dinner, now I'm here. I'm exhausted, I have a DBQ that I haven't started because I forgot I had it until I saw it this morning, a chem. project I could be working on, set design stuff.... but here I am... writing this blog about a ton of things that probably don't make any sense.
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